so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
