He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
