We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
