if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
