The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
