Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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