Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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