i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you will always have a special place in my vag
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
