When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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