Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
