best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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