don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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