her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
