I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
