bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
