Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i think my cat just said my name.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
