I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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