And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The power of my boobs compel you
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
