You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
