Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
