hotel room ftw
What a fucking waste of an outfit
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
