A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
