I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
