im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just tell him i said nine months
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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