I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
40s are totally the cure
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
