i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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