The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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