i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
operation harelip BJ is a go
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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