Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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