I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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