Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
