did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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