white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My dick has a subreddit
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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