It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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