Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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