last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
