I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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