I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
