Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
