I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
