oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
