Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
