guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
