He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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