My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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