She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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