whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
