You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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