They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
