so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
