WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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