Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
