But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
