Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just found puke in my bra..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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