nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
